Okay, time to once again level my sights on something that sucks, and revolutionize our very culture as a result. This time I’m calling out The Real World, a poorly named departure from reality and shame entering it’s 300th season on MTV. Get ready for suck.
The basic concept of the show is as follows: you take the seven most desperate people you can find at Senor Frog’s, invite them to take time off of their jobs as receptionists and out of work actors to come live in the worlds tackiest house in whatever town seems cool and hasn’t been used yet, give them unlimited alcohol, and then film them. How did this ever get made? I blame the terrible competition on TV at the time this concept was introduced. Wings, you have failed the American people yet again.
I have a new idea for your crappy spoken word introduction, Real World producers that are assuredly reading this blog every week looking for ways to make your show more horrendous. Ready? Okay!
I just don’t understand the appeal of this show. It is like any other reality show, but with less likeable contestants, and no actual point to it, like the others where someone can win or lose or get kicked out (except when people leave The Real World because of drugs or drinking, which is always hilarious). So with no purpose or competition, there is no conflict other than the intense suckiness of all the denizens of the house. But there’s conflict aplenty, in the form of slurred cussing and sloppy sex, due in part to the copious amounts of alcohol being foisted on the shameless morons.
I’m trying to figure out the target demographic for this show. I think it’s people that wish they had awful roommates, but instead live alone, and want to know what it’s like to live with a bunch of idiots that don’t have personalities. Or maybe it’s targeted at people who want to turn on the TV and immediately have a reason to go on a shooting spree. Those are huge untapped markets, I would assume.
And The Real World can’t blame its suckiness on pioneering a genre, ever. The other early reality show was, in fact, much much better. I’m talking about Cops, of course, also known as The Wacky Adventures Of Meth! Cops is still my favorite reality show to this very day, while The Real World is still the most boring one ever made (yes, worse than The Hills, but only just barely). So if you want to blame someone for creating the formula for an extremely boring reality show that doesn’t involve tasing meth addicts, blame The Real World.
So for creating terrible reality TV, crapping up the airwaves for nigh on 20 years now, and for making boring people all over the country want to go on reality TV to debase themselves, I am giving The Real World a big fat F-. If you would like appeal your grade, or just drunkenly yell at me, then cry, then go have sex with your roommate in a hot tub, or if you just have a good idea for something else that sucks, I can be reached at johnnyjive@hotmail.com
The basic concept of the show is as follows: you take the seven most desperate people you can find at Senor Frog’s, invite them to take time off of their jobs as receptionists and out of work actors to come live in the worlds tackiest house in whatever town seems cool and hasn’t been used yet, give them unlimited alcohol, and then film them. How did this ever get made? I blame the terrible competition on TV at the time this concept was introduced. Wings, you have failed the American people yet again.
I have a new idea for your crappy spoken word introduction, Real World producers that are assuredly reading this blog every week looking for ways to make your show more horrendous. Ready? Okay!
“This is the heavily edited story-
of what happens when seven highly confrontational personal trainers-
are forced to live in an eyesore condo together-
and abandon all semblance of manners or shame-
and start getting drunk.”
You’re welcome, producers.
of what happens when seven highly confrontational personal trainers-
are forced to live in an eyesore condo together-
and abandon all semblance of manners or shame-
and start getting drunk.”
You’re welcome, producers.
I just don’t understand the appeal of this show. It is like any other reality show, but with less likeable contestants, and no actual point to it, like the others where someone can win or lose or get kicked out (except when people leave The Real World because of drugs or drinking, which is always hilarious). So with no purpose or competition, there is no conflict other than the intense suckiness of all the denizens of the house. But there’s conflict aplenty, in the form of slurred cussing and sloppy sex, due in part to the copious amounts of alcohol being foisted on the shameless morons.
I’m trying to figure out the target demographic for this show. I think it’s people that wish they had awful roommates, but instead live alone, and want to know what it’s like to live with a bunch of idiots that don’t have personalities. Or maybe it’s targeted at people who want to turn on the TV and immediately have a reason to go on a shooting spree. Those are huge untapped markets, I would assume.
And The Real World can’t blame its suckiness on pioneering a genre, ever. The other early reality show was, in fact, much much better. I’m talking about Cops, of course, also known as The Wacky Adventures Of Meth! Cops is still my favorite reality show to this very day, while The Real World is still the most boring one ever made (yes, worse than The Hills, but only just barely). So if you want to blame someone for creating the formula for an extremely boring reality show that doesn’t involve tasing meth addicts, blame The Real World.
So for creating terrible reality TV, crapping up the airwaves for nigh on 20 years now, and for making boring people all over the country want to go on reality TV to debase themselves, I am giving The Real World a big fat F-. If you would like appeal your grade, or just drunkenly yell at me, then cry, then go have sex with your roommate in a hot tub, or if you just have a good idea for something else that sucks, I can be reached at johnnyjive@hotmail.com
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2 comments:
I used to love Real World, but you're right - now it's just a bunch of drunken, random sex, fighting, arguing drama and it's not very entertaining - it's embarrassing
We can only hope that The Real World will one day come back to Seattle one day, then we will finally have our chance to shine.
Like, the camera shows you getting hauled off in the ambulance while some fitting background music plays..
"Cause Evvverrybody Huuuuuuuuurts! Sometimes..."
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